Here we sum up some of our favourite odd stories of the year – and yes, they all really happened…
№1 Man orders burger, asks for 1,000 extra slices of cheese
A man who loved cheese so much decided to order a burger with an extra 1,000 slices of cheese on top. Clocking in at an estimated 4 STONE, the cheesy Whopper was a true gut-buster – 45,661 calories make it something you would definitely need a Christmas workout DVD for…
№2 Pig gets drunk and starts a fight with a cow!
Ah Swino. Swino, Swino, Swino. His star shone so bright but for such a short time. Swino was the booze-loving hog who downed 18 beers at a campsite in Australia. Not being able to handle his drink, he staggered around looking for a fight, and found a cow to beat up. Having lamped the poor animal, Swino collapsed in a drunken state and passed out. He became something of an Internet icon but his fame came to an abrupt end a month lagter when he died. His legend lives on, however.
№3 Woman caught having s*x in car park tries to wear cheeseburger as a sandal
Rachel Gossett takes the prize for the weirdest use of food in 2013. After getting smashed on booze with her fella in a car park she allegedly started having s*x in her car with lover Frank Lucas. After police were called when their X-rated antics were rumbled, she was alleged to have been so drunk that she tried to wear a CHEESEBURGER on her foot. The randy pair were taken in by cops for public drunkeness and loitering and are due in court next month. Presumably wearing normal shoes…
№4 Man dies from partying too hard, wife strips and demands compensation
Xu Lin was distraught after her husband died after a boozy night out with work colleagues. She was so upset that she decided to make a one-woman protest on the streets of China by stripping right down to her underwear, climbing up a pole and making demands of £30,000 in compensation. Police eventually managed to talk her down and talk to a lawyer. She has vowed to make a similar protest in future if her demands are not met.
№5 unclad man ‘crashes wedding, waves lettuce around’
Kevin Gill allegedly made one couple’s wedding day one to forget when he is said to have gatecrashed it after stripping unclad. That wasn’t the end of it, however. Waving a lettuce around, Gill is alleged to have shouted out that he “wanted to feed the animals”. He drove off before returning and doing it all over again. He was arrested on suspicion of indecent-exposure.
№6 Spooky clown terrorises Northampton, UK
Locals in Northampton got a hell of a fright when a spooky looking clown started popping up in various locations around the town. Carrying balloons and appearing outside people’s windows, he became something of a worldwide celebrity, with his own Facebook page and a hunt to find out who exactly he was. After numerous sightings, the clown was unmasked as the slightly less-scary documentary maker Alex Powell.
№7 Man who had s*x with cow manure is jailed
David Truscott has something of a bizarre fetish – cow manure.Truscott repeatedly broke in to a local farmer’s land to roll around unclad in the muck spreader. After being banned from going on their land, he then set the farm on fire when farmer Clive Ross cleaned the mucker in an attempt to put him off. After an assessment by doctors, he was jailed and will be sentenced next year.
№8 Man faces being hanged again after he survives first execution
Drug offender Alireza M, was hanged in Iran and pronounced dead after being in the noose for 12 minutes. But as his family arrived to collect him for burial a day later, he was still breathing. He was initially sentenced to death for a second time but was saved from the gallows after the story came to worldwide attention.
№ 9 Flasher: ‘I was just airing my man-hood’
William Gibson is alleged to have stuck his hand down his trousers in a shop in Florida before smelling his hand. Shocked shoppers then saw him take off his trousers completely. But Gibson told police he was just giving his man-hood an airing and that there were no sinister intentions. He was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition in the presence of the elderly.
№10 Man has s*x with goat, gets banned from every farm in Britain
A curfew was slapped on a man who had s*x with a goat. Robert Newman was ordered to stay at home after 7pm every night and was also banned from every farm in the country. He was also ordered to stay away from farmyard animals. Obviously.
№11 Man gets drunk, passes out, wakes up with no man-hood
64-year old Geraldo Ramos had the mother of all hangovers after a heavy drinking session – he woke up without his man-hood! All he remembers is being rushed to hospital after discovering his member had gone walkies. Neighbours reckon a dog bit it off while he was asleep although no hound was found. He’s now given up the booze, declaring his missing man-hood a “wake-up call”.
№12 Racist Premier Inn guest strips unclad, urinates, sticks fire extinguisher hose up his bum
When you stay at a Premier Inn, you don’t expect a man to jump out of a cupboard completely unclad with a fire extinguisher up his bottom firing off racist abuse before urinating on the carpet and self servicing. Joseph Small did all of those things at a London branch, however. Unsurprisingly, he was arrested.
№13 Polish woman wants s*x with 100,000 men
Polish woman Ania Lisewska certainly has ambition – she has made it her goal in life to sleep with 100,000 men. She has plans to travel the world and have s*x in every city. Men hoping for a chance have to be able to last for 20 minutes, however. She also only wants s*x at the weekends, meaning it will take at least 20 years to make her way through the staggering number. Good luck.
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